Let’s take all the honest, hardworking Mexicans who want to come. Anyone who’ll learn English, pledge allegiance (to our flag), pay their taxes, refuse welfare, and steadfastly pursue the American dream is welcome. Bring them on.
But in exchange, we’ll give Mexico -- and our liberal hippie crowd -- exactly what they want: every American drug offender, free to go.
We’ll empty our jails of them, and drop the prosecution of those not yet there. Crackheads and potheads, meth heads and junkies, we’ll offer them full and complete pardons, with just one condition: they move to Mexico -- renouncing their U.S. citizenship -- forever.