US Marijuana Party

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Who's that battering down a door?


QUANTICO, Va. -- Rep. Scott Garrett enters the dark hallway with a Glock pistol loaded with "simunition" at his side, a flak jacket over his coveralls and a helmet and gas mask on his head. Two similarly equipped aides follow close behind.

They turn into the first room off the hallway, and a loud bang rings out. Then another.

Garrett's press secretary has "shot" a gun-wielding dummy hiding in the closet, and another dummy sitting on a couch holding a telephone.

That's one good shot, but also a bad one, potentially killing someone whose only crime was being in the house where methamphetamine was being "cooked."

"We'd rather you make that kind of mistake here and be bothered by it for a while than have to deal with it in the real world," Drug Enforcement Administration Special Agent Mike Puralewski tells the press secretary, Audrey Jones, after the simulated raid ends. "You'd have a lot of paperwork to fill out now."

So there you have it, folks. Murdering innocent people in their own homes involves too much paperwork. We should lift these pesky paperwork requirements that inconvenience our hard-working DEA Agents.


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